Monday, January 16, 2006
Bolton Policemen
You know how it is with policemen at football matches - sometimes they're OK, sometimes they're bastards and sometimes they are really quite friendly. This is one of the last of those.
Vale were really pushing hard to get automatic promotion and had got a make-or-break game against Bolton really late in the season - yes, Bolton used to be in old Division 3 as well, I know that seems a bit hard to believe now, but they were. Had a crappy old ground called Burnden Park - it's an industrial estate now. And they were just as brutal then as they often are now, but they had all British players ( most teams did in those days)
Anyway, the match ends up 1-1 and we have a player with a broken bone - can't remember which one(bone) - think it was an arm - player was Mavis (David) Riley who was not usually that good, but had been playing really well...the game's finished and we are wondering what Sheffield United ( big rivals for promotion spot) had done, and the stadium announcer wouldn't tell us. Didn't give out any results.
So we leave the ground, it's still light - even though ( I think) it was an evening KO, and I'm walking back to where I left the car. This time it's not the Lancia for some reason, it's the (ex) wife's Lada Estate - well, it gets you from A to B fairly quickly, but not in "style". We are walking up to the car which I'd left parked on an unmade road by an industrial estate, and we were being accompanied by 2 or 3 policemen - no idea why, think it was their way back to base or something.
I asked whoever I was with whether it would be amusing to ask one of the police if they knew the Sheffield result - they said it probably wasn't a good idea, but I obviously knew better ( as usual) and asked one of them " Can you get the results on that radio ?" expecting to get no answer or at least nothing positive, but he said " No we can't, but I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that Sheffield have drawn too, so you're in the same position as before"
Quite took me back that, didn't expect it, and my mate was even more surprised than me....so we have a bit of a chat with the force on the way up and then he sees the car - " Is that your car, sir? " he asks me - well, at this point I suddenly remember that the tax on the car had run out about 3 months ago - my ex hadn't bothered to tax it, and to me it was so obvious that I began to worry a bit about starting the conversation in the first place.....and that he'd noticed it, and that I was about to find my evening taking a turn for the worse, so I said, a bit apprehensivley, yes, it was.....and he said " Mmm. Lada isn't it. I've got one of those myself, and all the lads take the piss, but they're all right aren't they ? " I said yes, they certainly are - they're reliable and steady and although they're not flash, they work OK. He agrees with me and either doesn't notice the tax disc or ignores it....And then he wishes me a safe journey home, and I say thanks - I'll drive carefully , and good luck with the car.... and that's that. Phew ! Get into the car, watch him and his mates walk up the road a bit, start the engine and drive off as quickly as I can - giving him a cheery wave as I do.
Sometimes your luck's in, sometimes it's not, like at Brighton that time....you know about that one....
Vale were really pushing hard to get automatic promotion and had got a make-or-break game against Bolton really late in the season - yes, Bolton used to be in old Division 3 as well, I know that seems a bit hard to believe now, but they were. Had a crappy old ground called Burnden Park - it's an industrial estate now. And they were just as brutal then as they often are now, but they had all British players ( most teams did in those days)
Anyway, the match ends up 1-1 and we have a player with a broken bone - can't remember which one(bone) - think it was an arm - player was Mavis (David) Riley who was not usually that good, but had been playing really well...the game's finished and we are wondering what Sheffield United ( big rivals for promotion spot) had done, and the stadium announcer wouldn't tell us. Didn't give out any results.
So we leave the ground, it's still light - even though ( I think) it was an evening KO, and I'm walking back to where I left the car. This time it's not the Lancia for some reason, it's the (ex) wife's Lada Estate - well, it gets you from A to B fairly quickly, but not in "style". We are walking up to the car which I'd left parked on an unmade road by an industrial estate, and we were being accompanied by 2 or 3 policemen - no idea why, think it was their way back to base or something.
I asked whoever I was with whether it would be amusing to ask one of the police if they knew the Sheffield result - they said it probably wasn't a good idea, but I obviously knew better ( as usual) and asked one of them " Can you get the results on that radio ?" expecting to get no answer or at least nothing positive, but he said " No we can't, but I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that Sheffield have drawn too, so you're in the same position as before"
Quite took me back that, didn't expect it, and my mate was even more surprised than me....so we have a bit of a chat with the force on the way up and then he sees the car - " Is that your car, sir? " he asks me - well, at this point I suddenly remember that the tax on the car had run out about 3 months ago - my ex hadn't bothered to tax it, and to me it was so obvious that I began to worry a bit about starting the conversation in the first place.....and that he'd noticed it, and that I was about to find my evening taking a turn for the worse, so I said, a bit apprehensivley, yes, it was.....and he said " Mmm. Lada isn't it. I've got one of those myself, and all the lads take the piss, but they're all right aren't they ? " I said yes, they certainly are - they're reliable and steady and although they're not flash, they work OK. He agrees with me and either doesn't notice the tax disc or ignores it....And then he wishes me a safe journey home, and I say thanks - I'll drive carefully , and good luck with the car.... and that's that. Phew ! Get into the car, watch him and his mates walk up the road a bit, start the engine and drive off as quickly as I can - giving him a cheery wave as I do.
Sometimes your luck's in, sometimes it's not, like at Brighton that time....you know about that one....
