Monday, January 16, 2006
Bolton Policemen
You know how it is with policemen at football matches - sometimes they're OK, sometimes they're bastards and sometimes they are really quite friendly. This is one of the last of those.
Vale were really pushing hard to get automatic promotion and had got a make-or-break game against Bolton really late in the season - yes, Bolton used to be in old Division 3 as well, I know that seems a bit hard to believe now, but they were. Had a crappy old ground called Burnden Park - it's an industrial estate now. And they were just as brutal then as they often are now, but they had all British players ( most teams did in those days)
Anyway, the match ends up 1-1 and we have a player with a broken bone - can't remember which one(bone) - think it was an arm - player was Mavis (David) Riley who was not usually that good, but had been playing really well...the game's finished and we are wondering what Sheffield United ( big rivals for promotion spot) had done, and the stadium announcer wouldn't tell us. Didn't give out any results.
So we leave the ground, it's still light - even though ( I think) it was an evening KO, and I'm walking back to where I left the car. This time it's not the Lancia for some reason, it's the (ex) wife's Lada Estate - well, it gets you from A to B fairly quickly, but not in "style". We are walking up to the car which I'd left parked on an unmade road by an industrial estate, and we were being accompanied by 2 or 3 policemen - no idea why, think it was their way back to base or something.
I asked whoever I was with whether it would be amusing to ask one of the police if they knew the Sheffield result - they said it probably wasn't a good idea, but I obviously knew better ( as usual) and asked one of them " Can you get the results on that radio ?" expecting to get no answer or at least nothing positive, but he said " No we can't, but I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that Sheffield have drawn too, so you're in the same position as before"
Quite took me back that, didn't expect it, and my mate was even more surprised than me....so we have a bit of a chat with the force on the way up and then he sees the car - " Is that your car, sir? " he asks me - well, at this point I suddenly remember that the tax on the car had run out about 3 months ago - my ex hadn't bothered to tax it, and to me it was so obvious that I began to worry a bit about starting the conversation in the first place.....and that he'd noticed it, and that I was about to find my evening taking a turn for the worse, so I said, a bit apprehensivley, yes, it was.....and he said " Mmm. Lada isn't it. I've got one of those myself, and all the lads take the piss, but they're all right aren't they ? " I said yes, they certainly are - they're reliable and steady and although they're not flash, they work OK. He agrees with me and either doesn't notice the tax disc or ignores it....And then he wishes me a safe journey home, and I say thanks - I'll drive carefully , and good luck with the car.... and that's that. Phew ! Get into the car, watch him and his mates walk up the road a bit, start the engine and drive off as quickly as I can - giving him a cheery wave as I do.
Sometimes your luck's in, sometimes it's not, like at Brighton that time....you know about that one....
Vale were really pushing hard to get automatic promotion and had got a make-or-break game against Bolton really late in the season - yes, Bolton used to be in old Division 3 as well, I know that seems a bit hard to believe now, but they were. Had a crappy old ground called Burnden Park - it's an industrial estate now. And they were just as brutal then as they often are now, but they had all British players ( most teams did in those days)
Anyway, the match ends up 1-1 and we have a player with a broken bone - can't remember which one(bone) - think it was an arm - player was Mavis (David) Riley who was not usually that good, but had been playing really well...the game's finished and we are wondering what Sheffield United ( big rivals for promotion spot) had done, and the stadium announcer wouldn't tell us. Didn't give out any results.
So we leave the ground, it's still light - even though ( I think) it was an evening KO, and I'm walking back to where I left the car. This time it's not the Lancia for some reason, it's the (ex) wife's Lada Estate - well, it gets you from A to B fairly quickly, but not in "style". We are walking up to the car which I'd left parked on an unmade road by an industrial estate, and we were being accompanied by 2 or 3 policemen - no idea why, think it was their way back to base or something.
I asked whoever I was with whether it would be amusing to ask one of the police if they knew the Sheffield result - they said it probably wasn't a good idea, but I obviously knew better ( as usual) and asked one of them " Can you get the results on that radio ?" expecting to get no answer or at least nothing positive, but he said " No we can't, but I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that Sheffield have drawn too, so you're in the same position as before"
Quite took me back that, didn't expect it, and my mate was even more surprised than me....so we have a bit of a chat with the force on the way up and then he sees the car - " Is that your car, sir? " he asks me - well, at this point I suddenly remember that the tax on the car had run out about 3 months ago - my ex hadn't bothered to tax it, and to me it was so obvious that I began to worry a bit about starting the conversation in the first place.....and that he'd noticed it, and that I was about to find my evening taking a turn for the worse, so I said, a bit apprehensivley, yes, it was.....and he said " Mmm. Lada isn't it. I've got one of those myself, and all the lads take the piss, but they're all right aren't they ? " I said yes, they certainly are - they're reliable and steady and although they're not flash, they work OK. He agrees with me and either doesn't notice the tax disc or ignores it....And then he wishes me a safe journey home, and I say thanks - I'll drive carefully , and good luck with the car.... and that's that. Phew ! Get into the car, watch him and his mates walk up the road a bit, start the engine and drive off as quickly as I can - giving him a cheery wave as I do.
Sometimes your luck's in, sometimes it's not, like at Brighton that time....you know about that one....
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Another Glorious Triumph !!
Yet another victory, and one we deserved - 3-2 against Barnsley. Great performance, some really good play, players doing what they should - trying their hardest to win the game and playing well too. Three really good goals for us, one of theirs was Ok - their keeper messed up for one of ours, but so what, we deserved to win it - and yet another goal from super Sam - I really hope he stays with us a bit longer - he's due back at Palace at the end of the month - who knows ?
Referee was a bit crap - why do we always get them ? Are they cloned or something ? Far too many at this level - too many bizarre decisions, too much of the time - will they progress on to "better things" ? Like the Premiership ? Probably because they're bad enough at our level....and they have to move them on to give them more experience....can remember watching both Graham Poll and Andy D'Urso ref Vale games - Poll was OK, but D'Urso bottled an obvious sending off - keeper handled ball outside the area - should have been straight red, but he only gave yellow. We lost the game in the end, as far as I remember. Useless. And he hasn't changed, either.
Referee was a bit crap - why do we always get them ? Are they cloned or something ? Far too many at this level - too many bizarre decisions, too much of the time - will they progress on to "better things" ? Like the Premiership ? Probably because they're bad enough at our level....and they have to move them on to give them more experience....can remember watching both Graham Poll and Andy D'Urso ref Vale games - Poll was OK, but D'Urso bottled an obvious sending off - keeper handled ball outside the area - should have been straight red, but he only gave yellow. We lost the game in the end, as far as I remember. Useless. And he hasn't changed, either.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Victory in the Cup !! Bring on the Villa
So they can do it when they try - I know it was only Donny Rovers, but they only lost to Arsenal on pens and they beat Man City and Villa....so it was a good result.
First half they weren't very good, conceded a good goal, but didn't really play well, and the way things were going in the second half, at least for a while, looked like it was going to be another "play quite well but end up losing" type of game....then super Sam struck - and did it twice !! Must admit to not being his biggest fan when he first came here on loan, in fact I thought they should have sent him back just as quick, because he was crap, and what's more, bottled it on 60-40s never mind 50-50s, but then he seemed to click and be bothered ( and his face looked bothered) - more to the point, was I glad he'd stayed when he rifled in those two crackers !!!
Leon played pretty well too, should have had a couple himself, but not quite and it was good to see Mickey Cummins back and playing like we all know he can !!
So now it's the Villa - last time we played them we got stuffed 6-0 - I couldn't go, but this time I'm intending to be there !! So should be a different result then....superstition rules !!
First half they weren't very good, conceded a good goal, but didn't really play well, and the way things were going in the second half, at least for a while, looked like it was going to be another "play quite well but end up losing" type of game....then super Sam struck - and did it twice !! Must admit to not being his biggest fan when he first came here on loan, in fact I thought they should have sent him back just as quick, because he was crap, and what's more, bottled it on 60-40s never mind 50-50s, but then he seemed to click and be bothered ( and his face looked bothered) - more to the point, was I glad he'd stayed when he rifled in those two crackers !!!
Leon played pretty well too, should have had a couple himself, but not quite and it was good to see Mickey Cummins back and playing like we all know he can !!
So now it's the Villa - last time we played them we got stuffed 6-0 - I couldn't go, but this time I'm intending to be there !! So should be a different result then....superstition rules !!
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Getting Towed Away at Brighton
As you'll know if you're reading these, I used to go to a lot of away matches - most of the away games in one or two seasons, as it happens. Usually went with my mate BJ - nobody else seemed to want to go, for some reason. So this goes back to the days when Brighton had a proper ground - their own, the Goldstone Ground it was called, not that jumped -up athletics track called the Withdean. Mind you, I never liked their old ground either - we never seemed to win, and they'd always got players who scored against us. Vale are a bit like that ( a lot like that) certain players always score against us, even if they don't ever score against anybody else. Luke Beckett springs to mind at the moment, but there have always been palyers like that.
Anyway, me and BJ set off to Brighton to watch the Vale. Because we knew where the ground was, we took back roads into the town but we got there not too long before kick-off and were having difficulty finding somewere to park. I found somewhere not too far from the ground, but BJ pointed out that it was only a 2 hour maximum stay, and it might take longer, so we drove around a bit and eventually spotted a whole line of cars parked on double yellows. We thought it must be OK to park there on match days, and anyway, there were 10 or 12 cars there, so we decided to take the chance and do it.
The game was awful. Vale played like a load of strangers and we lost 2-0. Both goals scored by the same player - forget his name, but he always scored against us !!
So we come out of the ground and head back to the car - but it's not there, nowhere to be seen, disappeared. First reaction is that it's been stolen - well, it is a nice white Lancia Delta, more than a bit flash, sort of car that could get nicked.
So I go to find a copper - and say to him that I think my car has been stolen. He asks me where I'd left it ( strange question, I think, to start with) so I point him across the road and say "Over there" . He says -" I don't think it's been stolen, sir, I think we've had it towed away for parking on double yellows" and I point out to him all the other cars still parked there and he says they can only take one at a time - and did I see the signs warning me that Brighton tow away illegally parked cars ? So I say, no we didn't, and he says well you should have. So I ask him what we need to do now and he says we need to ring the police station and find out if the car has actually been towed, and that if it has, we'll have to go to the police station to sort things out.
So we find a phone box and call them, tell them the registration - and it has indeed been towed away. Great. So then we ask them how to get there and they say it's actually a few miles from the ground, it's in Brighton and the ground's in Hove ( or vice versa, can't remember) and so you need to get a taxi there - they say that will cost about a fiver. ( Great, I think) and then you'll have to pay the fine and the towing away charge before you can get your car back. This is beginning to sound worse by the minute. Anyway, we get a taxi to take us to the police station- and it does cost a fiver ( a bit more, but so what) and we get to the police station. Parking fine is £14 ( I think) and the towing away charge is £75 - and you have to pay it all in one go or they keep your car, and charge you £15 a day for keeping it if you don't claim it there and then. Bastards is the immediate reaction.
This is now certainly not in the least amusing. The copper at the station is very sympathetic, says they only ever catch visitors - all the locals know how to get round it. I do point out about the fact that loads of other cars were parked there, and he says, that's how it works out - they usually go for the non-locals first....even better.
So now got to find £89. Got cheque book with me, but cheque card only covers me for £50, and they won't accept multiple cheques. BJ has got cashcard with him, and can get the other £40 quid, but he's not a happy bunny about this, not at all. Anyway, eventually we get the fine and charge paid and get a receipt.
So I ask if I can pick car up now - and they say yes, but it's not here. It's actually in a pound at Moulscomb ( I think) which is right out the other side of Brighton and another taxi ride away - about £12 they think from the cop shop. This is getting seriously expensive - have had to put loads of petrol in, it's a very long drive, have had to pay to see the match, and now have had to pay out major dosh just to get the car back to go home. No choice again, got to do what is necessary, only now have to wait until they can confirm the car is actually at the pound. Or go there and wait.....which we do. It is there anyway. So we get it back and have to find our way back from the wrong side of Brighton to get on the motorway.
Probably the most expensive away game I've ever been to - and most of it was a waste of money!That's why I've never been to another game at Brighton - hate the bastards.
Tell people about this and they think it's very funny - I do know a lot of smartarses who always know better after the event - they all say, "well you shouldn't park illegally, what did you expect" as if it's something they'd never do themselves, the lying gits - resist the impulse to smack them one ( not easy, but I manage it)
Anyway, me and BJ set off to Brighton to watch the Vale. Because we knew where the ground was, we took back roads into the town but we got there not too long before kick-off and were having difficulty finding somewere to park. I found somewhere not too far from the ground, but BJ pointed out that it was only a 2 hour maximum stay, and it might take longer, so we drove around a bit and eventually spotted a whole line of cars parked on double yellows. We thought it must be OK to park there on match days, and anyway, there were 10 or 12 cars there, so we decided to take the chance and do it.
The game was awful. Vale played like a load of strangers and we lost 2-0. Both goals scored by the same player - forget his name, but he always scored against us !!
So we come out of the ground and head back to the car - but it's not there, nowhere to be seen, disappeared. First reaction is that it's been stolen - well, it is a nice white Lancia Delta, more than a bit flash, sort of car that could get nicked.
So I go to find a copper - and say to him that I think my car has been stolen. He asks me where I'd left it ( strange question, I think, to start with) so I point him across the road and say "Over there" . He says -" I don't think it's been stolen, sir, I think we've had it towed away for parking on double yellows" and I point out to him all the other cars still parked there and he says they can only take one at a time - and did I see the signs warning me that Brighton tow away illegally parked cars ? So I say, no we didn't, and he says well you should have. So I ask him what we need to do now and he says we need to ring the police station and find out if the car has actually been towed, and that if it has, we'll have to go to the police station to sort things out.
So we find a phone box and call them, tell them the registration - and it has indeed been towed away. Great. So then we ask them how to get there and they say it's actually a few miles from the ground, it's in Brighton and the ground's in Hove ( or vice versa, can't remember) and so you need to get a taxi there - they say that will cost about a fiver. ( Great, I think) and then you'll have to pay the fine and the towing away charge before you can get your car back. This is beginning to sound worse by the minute. Anyway, we get a taxi to take us to the police station- and it does cost a fiver ( a bit more, but so what) and we get to the police station. Parking fine is £14 ( I think) and the towing away charge is £75 - and you have to pay it all in one go or they keep your car, and charge you £15 a day for keeping it if you don't claim it there and then. Bastards is the immediate reaction.
This is now certainly not in the least amusing. The copper at the station is very sympathetic, says they only ever catch visitors - all the locals know how to get round it. I do point out about the fact that loads of other cars were parked there, and he says, that's how it works out - they usually go for the non-locals first....even better.
So now got to find £89. Got cheque book with me, but cheque card only covers me for £50, and they won't accept multiple cheques. BJ has got cashcard with him, and can get the other £40 quid, but he's not a happy bunny about this, not at all. Anyway, eventually we get the fine and charge paid and get a receipt.
So I ask if I can pick car up now - and they say yes, but it's not here. It's actually in a pound at Moulscomb ( I think) which is right out the other side of Brighton and another taxi ride away - about £12 they think from the cop shop. This is getting seriously expensive - have had to put loads of petrol in, it's a very long drive, have had to pay to see the match, and now have had to pay out major dosh just to get the car back to go home. No choice again, got to do what is necessary, only now have to wait until they can confirm the car is actually at the pound. Or go there and wait.....which we do. It is there anyway. So we get it back and have to find our way back from the wrong side of Brighton to get on the motorway.
Probably the most expensive away game I've ever been to - and most of it was a waste of money!That's why I've never been to another game at Brighton - hate the bastards.
Tell people about this and they think it's very funny - I do know a lot of smartarses who always know better after the event - they all say, "well you shouldn't park illegally, what did you expect" as if it's something they'd never do themselves, the lying gits - resist the impulse to smack them one ( not easy, but I manage it)
Maybe the car is cursed ??
